The Big Obscure Bang!

Hi, I am 22 years, one blog and a tiny post old. I like living life to the easiest. I don’t dig hard work. Like to crawl away into my loony world of lost musings whenever I can. People think I’m observing them when they see me gazing at them with rapt attention. But little do they know that I have slipped away like a noodle off a fork into my realm of lost thoughts. It’s a God-given gift that few people have. And I meet those people in my thoughts and they see me in theirs. Sometimes, it gets weird when two people having the gift are at the same place. You feel you have double vision.

As I said, I don’t like to work hard. This has led to me developing a liking for words that start with the letter ‘l’. Like like. I like like (except when it is overused by airheads in everyday conversation…Like, did you like like the movie or like didn’t like it? Like we can like go to the park and like play on the swing and like….Aha! Mr. Like Likerson, I didn’t know you could fart English!!). I also love words like leisure, laxity, luxury, lassitude, lethargy, lousiness, languor and live by them.

Am a big fan of ‘lazy’ (the word sounds so cool!!!). I am so damn lazy that I make lazy look hyperactive. I hope they will coin a word after my name one day. A word that would have the sloth-quotient of lazy, lethargy and lousy put together. A word that would turn laziness into a virtue. For example,

Mothers chitchatting in the lobby before a parent teacher conference would go:

Mom 1: I am really worried about Peter. He’s so lazy
Mom 2: Oh! You are so lucky! My son John is so Neel!!
Mom 1: Oh! I didn’t know it was this serious for you. Have you considered therapy?
Mom 2: I tried; they said it has no cure!

My word would have comparative and superlative forms too.

Random guy 1: Which of Adam and Badam do you think is Neeler?
Random guy 2: It’s a no-brainer! Of course, Badam! He was once slapped by a guy in slow motion!
Random guy 1: Yeah! But Cadam’s gotta be the Neelest. I mean, the guy starved himself to death for crying out loud!!

And all this would make me happy. Very happy. But I’d be too lazy to look up from my bed of nails in Lucifer’s Lair for Lazy Louts and appreciate it.

I also turn up late for outings with friends as I like late too! And I can bet my shirt that I can put any Latif to shame in this regard too! Maybe I will someday. And I’ll usurp his position and have his colloquialism named after me and erase him from public consciousness forever!

I love to laugh. And make others laugh. Although it can’t cure my laziness, I still think it is the best medicine. It tastes even better when you can laugh at yourself. When you find a joke funny, laugh at the joke. When you don’t, laugh at the person who told the joke. Laugh and the world laughs with you, keep laughing and the world laughs at you but remember to keep laughing, for the one who laughs last is the last to get the joke but at least, you won’t have someone trying to explain the joke to you if you laugh!

More about my liking for the letter “l” later.

Ever since blogmania hit the virtual world, I have wanted to set one up for myself and get cracking (I know I shouldn’t be using idioms like “get cracking”…it’s so out of character!). But something or the other kept tramelling me… Now that’s a lie. And as much as I like words that begin with “l”, I don’t like to lie. There was really only one thing that stopped me blogging. Good ol’ laziness. And I have somehow managed to bribe, coerce, threaten & cajole it into letting me start. And started I have. Albeit a wee bit obscurely. But as they say, Obscurity ignites Curiosity and Curiosity kills the man. So don’t blame me if you feel suicidal after reading this. And those who have “felt” it already, May Thy Soul Rest in Peace!